Taboo
by Lolita-chan
Summary: KakaxIru Sometimes all that's keeping a person sane is his cherished secret. HurtComfort Mature Themes and Weirdness WIP
1. Secrets

Taboo

Chapter 1

_ Whump. _Iruka glanced over at his right hand, which was holding a piece of chalk and poised to add more details to the notes already written neatly on the blackboard. A suspicious-looking kunai was lodged into to the firm surface. His face gradually began to fill with blood, turning bright red as snickers were heard from the vicinity of the desks. Suddenly, with a slight _pop _and a puff of white smoke, the odd kunai transformed into a small frog, landing on his still-raised hand and hopping carelessly onto his head in search of safer ground. At this point, the class was in an uproar. The plump green amphibian, startled by the noise, leapt off of the soft nest he had found and skittered out the window, in hopes of finding a nice little pond, and maybe a much less threatening froggy friend.

The chuunin sensei turned around very slowly, eyes narrowed, and his gaze swept over the class of pre-genin. At seeing the demonic expression their teacher was wearing, face crimson and scar standing out like a stripe of white war paint, the children stifled any traces of laughter and donned innocently large eyes, full of curiosity and just so eager to learn. It failed to elicit the desired reaction from the tan chuunin.

"I will give the perpetrator one chance to confess," he said, deceptively calm and crossing his arms in front of his chest. Of course, judging from the angle and depth at which the weapon had entered the chalkboard, and knowing the seating arrangement and skill levels of his students, Iruka had a fairly solid idea of which brat was indeed guilty. However, like any one who has worked with children, he knew there were better ways to punish students than direct admonishment and lecturing.

No one reacted.

_ So this is how it's going to be, ne? Well, fine with me, _he thought, a sadistic grin making its way onto his normally gentle face.

"Since it is painfully obvious to me that you would all rather act like idiots than copy notes for the last half-hour of class, you are free to go home early." The students looked at each other, then their sensei, clearly confused. Iruka continued, smile growing wider.

"You will need that time to start your essays." Collective groan. "Yes, I think eight pages would be acceptable." Various indignant outcries. "If any of you paid attention today and took notes, you're in luck. The topic is tracking enemy ninja by means of chakra. I expect you to know what you are talking about, so I recommend practicing on one another. Oh, and Sono, don't think I am blind to that trick. Because of your gigantic handwriting, your essay will be twelve pages. You are dismissed."

The young ninjas grumbled to each other while gathering their school things, complaining about their strict teacher and vowing to take revenge on their peer for causing all this trouble. The threats reached Iruka's ears. He sighed to himself.

_ I know it's cruel, but it is the only way to get through to some students. After being shunned by his friends, I am sure Seiji will behave better in class._

After the last of the students milled out of the room, Iruka returned to his desk and sat down, sighing again and resting his head in his arms on top of the cold, wooden surface.

_ Damn, I am not looking forward to grading all those essays..._

Banging his forehead in silent reprimand gently on the oak, he was interrupted by a sharp pecking to the back of his neck. Surprised, he sat up quickly to find Tsunade-sama's bird of prey staring at him with yellow, beady eyes. He was being summoned.

After a quickly tidying up the classroom, Iruka gathered the abandoned notes into a stack, rolled them into a hefty cylinder, and crammed them ever-so-gently into a scroll-holding pocket built into the front of his vest. This was apparently taking too long, however, as the falcon began squawking, in hopes of rushing Iruka. The teacher, though not fluent in raucous screeches, got the hint and headed towards the door before the bird decided to become physically involved. He had heard horror stories in the mission room, and seen the scars that flying demon had inflicted upon some of the best ninja in the village.

The macabre images floating past his mind's eye encouraged the teacher to take the least time-consuming route; leaping over the roofs of the houses on the way to the tower. Evidently he made the right choice. The falcon disappeared after it was convinced Iruka was indeed on his way to see it's master, clucking in satisfaction.

Iruka arrived at his destination within minutes; a new record for him. Slightly out of breath, and thinking that he needed to get some more cardio into his workouts, Iruka walked through the large double-doors, nodding at the guards. He approached the Hokage's office, looking to the Anbu flanking the entrance for approval, receiving an affirmative gesture he advanced, opening the door slowly. Hearing a voice inside, Iruka paused with one foot in the room.

"-can wear the tutu and the curls today, okay? Oh, that is so cute!"

Confused and wondering who she was talking to, (and hoping he wouldn't be seeing the Hokage in such attire,) Iruka peeked into the large room. What he saw was a great deal more shocking and, quite honestly, disturbing than experiencing a Tsunade in ballerina wear.

_ This is not something I wanted to witness..._

Sitting on the sturdy desk in the aforementioned costume wasTsunade's pig. At first, Iruka thought it must be a doll, but then he heard a small snort and saw the pink snout sticking out from beneath golden ringlets.The poor, uneasy sensei didn't know what to do. He considered waiting outside the room for a bit to let the Hokage finish up, and decided it was the best choice at the moment.

By this time, however, nearly a minute had passed and the guards seemed to be a little suspicious of the shinobi hovering in the doorway. Seeing their sidelong glances, Iruka pushed the door open completely and made himself known by clearing his throat gently. The fifth Hokage was so engrossed in her strange, obviously one-sided conversation that she didn't even notice someone had intruded until she heard the uncomfortable noise. With a slight blush, she cleared away the mess of costumes and wigs. She carefully picked up the animal, confused at the sudden lack of attention, and set it on the floor. Looking at the pig, Iruka saw no aggravation at being made to dress up and deduced that this was not the first time the event had occurred. Furthermore, the chuunin could have sworn the small animal walked away with a swagger, as though it _knew_ it looked damn sexy and wasn't the least bit shy about showing it off.

"Ah, Iruka," the Hokage began seriously, clearly set on pretending the last few minutes never happened, "I have a mission for you." Iruka decided that he could work at blocking out that memory later tonight. He stood straight, listening intently to Tsunade.

"You and a small team will be trekking to the village of Hidden Grass. There you will be trading a Konoha scroll for information on Hidden Sound, as this village is a mutual enemy of Leaf and Grass. Because Grass is a very secretive community and hesitant to give information, you and your teammates will have to venture well within the borders, which may take two to three weeks. The ninja will not feel secure meeting on common ground and are most comfortable where they have defenses ready. They may be wary of Konoha, but I trust them to be true to their word and this information could aid us greatly. Moreover, two new chuunin will accompany you and a jounin leader to get the feel of how missions work. I expect little danger with this mission, but a jounin can be spared at this time, and it's better to be safe than sorry, I believe. You will meet your team in an hour and a half at the gates of Konoha. You are dismissed."

Iruka bowed to the Hokage before heading back to the academy. He wanted to prepare some tentative lesson plans for his substitute. He arrived at the school and sat at his desk to scribble hurriedly. Watching the clock out of the corner of his eye, he worked steadily until he had only twenty minutes to prepare for the mission. Laying eight days worth of schedules on the table, the chuunin hid his favorite pens in the bottom drawer on the left; the one that won't open unless you know exactly where to hit it. Then he set out for his apartment.

Arriving with just thirteen minutes to spare, Iruka raced to his bathroom, pulling down the old duffel bag that was presently being used as a makeshift curtain for the window and crammed it half-full of weapons from various drawers and cupboards in his bedroom and the kitchen. Next he added a plentiful supply of non-perishable foods and headed to his closet to throw in a few extra chuunin uniforms. Satisfied with his rushed packing, Iruka left his house, setting a couple traps and locking the door securely.

Practically flying over the roofs, the sensei made it to the gates in a record four minutes, leaving him two minutes early. One chuunin was already there, a small kunoichi, no more than eighteen or nineteen years of age, who Iruka had never seen before. He had just drawn a breath to greet the delicate-looking nin when the other chuunin appeared, a muscular young man just slightly taller than Iruka. The shinobi looked familiar to the sensei; the new chuunin had most likely been taught by one of the other teachers in the academy in recent semesters. He appeared to be a few years older than the girl. The ninja nodded to his teammates in acknowledgment, then introduced himself.

"Hey, there," the large shinobi drawled casually. "I'm Kuma." This was a fitting name for a man with such a powerful appearance, Iruka thought; he certainly gave off the aura of a bear on a hunt. His short, sandy brown hair had the fluffy texture of fur and his onyx eyes were piercing, calculating and possibly a bit savage.

Iruka glanced to his right, giving the quiet kunoichi a gentle smile, inviting her silently to introduce herself next. She straightened her posture, tossing shoulder length lavender hair out of her face, and let her warm, amber-colored gaze pass over each man as she stated her identity in a soft but confident and musical voice.

"My name is Murasaki. Pleased to meet you both." With a small bow, she stepped backwards to allow attention to divert to Iruka.

"Congratulations on passing your chuunin tests. I'm Iruka and I am looking forward to working with you on this mission." He smiled warmly at his teammates, receiving in turn a shy smile and a bit of a blush from Murasaki and a hearty grin from Kuma.

After the short, formal introductions were finished, the trio lapsed into a somewhat awkward silence, waiting patiently for the final member of their team, the jounin leader, to arrive. After about ten minutes, Kuma, who had been restless during the delay, sat down under a nearby tree, pulled out a kunai and began to sharpen it with a stone that he always kept in another pocket for just this kind of situation.

Another five minutes passed before Iruka grew impatient as well. He turned to the orchid-haired waif to strike up a friendly conversation, but she seemed to blush and look to the ground as a form of communication. Iruka asked whether she was nervous to be out on her first mission. Her response was unexpected and a little odd.

"I'm not frightened of the danger of the mission, per se, though I am... apprehensive about working with Jounin-sama. I never dreamed that I would be teamed up with such a powerful shinobi. I have seen him around the village on occasion, and when I was still a student at the academy I had a terrible fear of him." She laughed softly at herself here. "I know it's silly, and it's an honor to be working with Jounin-sama, but still, I have butterflies in my stomach."

Iruka was also feeling a peculiar sensation in his stomach, though his was more of a heavy sinking feeling, as everything began to add up in his mind. Powerful jounin who frightened young children, over twenty minutes late at this point- No, it's not possible. Tsunade wouldn't have withheld such an important detail from the chuunin. Unless she was afraid he would deny the mission if he had all the facts... This was becoming too suspicious. He had to know.

"Murasaki-san, tell me, what is the name of the jounin who is to be our team leader?" Iruka questioned the kunoichi, who had been studying Iruka's face in order to distinguish his reaction. She seemed to have realized just how long and personal her speech really was, face growing pink as she opened her mouth in response. She was interrupted, however, by a large puff of white smoke that appeared in front of the three.

The smoke cleared, and Iruka's suspicions were confirmed. Hatake Kakashi stood before him, one hand raised in greeting, grinning sheepishly. The caramel-skinned teacher groaned inwardly as Kakashi's deep voice lazily washed over the three chuunin who had been waiting for him for over half an hour by now.

"Maa, I apologize for my late arrival, for you see, as I was walking down the road of life, I chanced upon a lone, blue marsupial, no bigger than my palm..."

And so it began.

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Loli-Wow. This was such a pain in my ass because my laptop seemed to think, for some inexplicable reason, that I wanted every freakin word in italics. I was pushing that stupid button constanly. Jeez... Anyway, I swear that this story will out last my others! It will become at least... 4 pages!

Me-gasp! Are you sure you want to set that kind of goal for yourself, Loli-chan? Can you do it without making the chapters 3 paragraphs long and utter nonsense?

Loli-Yes! I can do it! I believe! And then I will shout these words from the rooftops..."People at the psychiatric hospital are allergic to shrimp!!" (No, I'm not a patient; I work there...What? You don't believe me? tsk, tsk. Electronic devices are contraband. Ah, I could be broadcasting with tin foil, you say, very clever...)


	2. Arcanum

1Arcanum 11/06

Chapter 2

The days readily wore on. The team moved swiftly through the dense forest during the days, being that Konoha was in a rare and sanctioned state of peace with the other ninja villages and countries. Daylight would become necessary when the four moved closer to the unfamiliar territory of the Grass village; the map that Kakashi carried in his vest was made of cheap paper and the ink ran in a few places, forming lakes where there should be rolling plains. Only Iruka could effectively decipher the messy scribbles on the edges. It is an informal prerequisite for teachers to be able to read impossibly bad handwriting, however, the chuunin had extra experience as he was the one who always seemed to end up with Kakashi's confusing reports.

By the fourth day of sailing through the treetops, stopping for lunch, and continuing until sunset, Iruka began to relax. He had been anticipating the worst on this mission, but Kakashi, instead of tormenting Iruka as often as he could, treated him the same as the other two chuunin. The autumn weather was clear and crisp during the day and still held a warm breeze from the west, which made for agreeable traveling conditions. It was a drastic change from the enclosed classroom with central air conditioning that left an unnatural chill, and Iruka decided enthusiastically that he preferred the outdoors.

When the team stopped in the evening at the bank of a gently flowing river, Kakashi instructed Iruka and Kuma to trap fish for dinner. Murasaki was entrusted with the task of setting up camp, while the jounin surveyed the area for potential predators and gathered wood for a fire.

Now standing knee deep in the tepid water, the two chuunin chatted amicably, both relieved that dinner tonight would not consist solely of canned goods and the freeze-dried rations that are distributed to ninja on lengthy missions.

As the shinobi stood quietly, letting the fish become accustomed to their presence, Kuma began speaking softly.

"Hey, Iruka," he started, then lunged into the water, his kunai aimed at an especially enticing animal. He missed his prey and succeeded only in drenching his partner. He swore good-naturedly, laughing a little.

"Sorry bout that." The taller man apologized. Iruka shook his head.

"Don't worry about it. It's not cold enough that I'll get sick." He pulled off his vest, which had soaked up most of the water, and tossed it on the bank.

"You noticed anything about that girl?" Kuma said, his attention back on the fish swimming unwittingly past his legs. Iruka cocked his head slightly, thinking.

"What do you mean?" He asked, eyebrows knitting unconsciously. Kuma looked at Iruka now, trying to decide whether the teacher was playing dumb. He saw only genuine confusion and a little concern, and he laughed loudly, startling the fish and Iruka both. He diverted his gaze back to their eagerly swimming dinner.

"She's been practically drooling over you this whole week. Haven't you realized yet?"

"That's not true," Iruka protested, his cheeks already aflame at hearing this scandalous information. Kuma wore an amused expression on his naturally fierce face.

"And you're supposed to be one of the best teachers at the academy." The young chuunin clucked his tongue in mock chastisement, then went on in hopes of convincing the unusually thick instructor.

"How about last night, when she kept asking if you were cold and tried to give you an extra blanket?"

"She was just being thoughtful. Maybe I looked cold. I'm sure she would have offered you the

blanket if she thought you needed it." Iruka reasoned, sure that this was a valid point.

"Iruka, that was my blanket she was forcing on you. Murasaki is totally hot for you." Iruka thought this over, cheeks glowing in embarrassment when he recognized the small girl's actions as being similar to the young female students that believed they were in love with their teacher, as well as some of the citizens of Konoha.

Ah, yes, Iruka did know what it was like to be the object of a woman's devotion, although he had never reciprocated those feelings. However, being that it was a fellow ninja this time, and one he was currently on a fairly long mission with, Iruka wondered if his usual routine of ignoring the fawning would work.

Of course, with some of the bolder women and most of the pre-genin the teacher let them down gently, telling them he was quite flattered and explaining why it would not work out. It was hard, but none of the girls were bitter or angry about the rejection, and they remained friendly.

He was shaken out of his revere by a triumphant cry from Kuma, who had managed to spear a large fish on a long kunai. Remembering the task at hand, Iruka pushed away his thoughts for later debate and concentrated on catching dinner.

Kuma continued to chatter about what kind of fish were living in this particular river, talking about their eating and mating habits, adding that they were capable of rendering a man unconscious with a flip of their tail; at least that's what it sounded like, Iruka wasn't really listening at this point.

A short time later, the three chuunin were sitting around a blazing fire, enjoying their meal of fresh fish and canned vegetables. Kakashi was on lookout in a nearby tree; every night he would take his portion of food and find somewhere private to eat and watch for danger.

"You can have some of my fish," Murasaki kept offering Iruka shyly. Iruka simply smiled and declined with a 'thank you'. Now that he was aware of what was going on, he was a little irritated. Murasaki sat less than two feet away from Iruka during dinner, saying that she was cold. When Iruka asked if she would like a blanket, she accepted then tried to share it with him.

Iruka could see Kuma in his peripheral vision, a smirk set on his face as he watched the teacher blush and stutter uncomfortably.

When the sun had finally set completely, the two younger chuunin laid out their blankets near the fire and fell asleep almost immediately, as they were not used to missions yet and tired out more quickly. Iruka lay restless for some time, listening to the gentle waves lapping at the banks of the river. Suddenly, he felt wide awake and acutely aware of how dirty he was. Murasaki had waded into the river while the fish cooked over the fire, washing herself and her clothes then drying before the flames. This idea was sounding more appealing by the second, and after a few moments of silent contemplation, Iruka stood up and headed for the water.

He wanted to let Kakashi know what he was doing, but a quick search of the treetops and seeking out chakra yielded no results, and Iruka shrugged; at least he tried. Shedding his outer layers, the tan shinobi looked around once more and stripped naked, tearing the soft leather tie out of his hair to let the silky strands fall into place around his sweet face and about his bare shoulders. If no one was within view, he might as well wash his clothes separately, since this method would be more thorough. Iruka washed his shirt and pants, not worrying about the vest that was still drying on a log next to the fire. After he was satisfied the cloth was clean enough, he draped the items over a low branch.

The more tedious task complete, Iruka was now free to savor the beauty of the river under the dark sky. The waxing gibbous high above him was enshrouded in dark clouds; exquisite black lace over a glowing alabaster pearl. He stepped into the shallow water, marveling at how warm it was despite the approaching winter.

The chuunin took his time bathing, basking in the moonlight as he did so. He cupped his hands to scoop up the dark water, splashing it over his smooth, tan chest and toned stomach. Then, Iruka inhaled deeply and immersed his entire body in the waters, slowly exhaling to rest at the bottom of the five-foot deep river and scrubbed at the hair that was now forming a dark cloud around his head. After a few minutes, his breath ran out, and the teacher resurfaced.

Although he was sufficiently clean by now, Iruka was not ready to go back to camp and sleep. Floating on his back, and letting the gentle waves caress his entire body, he began to sing softly to himself.

Had Iruka not been born into the life of a ninja, he would have been encouraged to pursue his love of music, singing for a living and loving every moment of it. If there was one aspect of himself that he was most proud of, it was his voice. A rich, but decidedly sweet tenor that had absolutely no application in his line of work, and therefore, no one in the village had ever heard his beautiful voice.

Iruka was so carried away in the joy of singing just for the sake of singing, he didn't notice the soft footfalls that were drawn to the bank by the haunting melody flowing from the area of the river. Nor did he notice the sudden halt of the steps, or the fluttering of leaves that fell to the ground unexpectedly. His voice carried up to the treetops, where an enchanted audience of one crouched, spellbound.

"_Une fleur sensible simple fleurit sous le clair de lune, baigné dans la lueur argentée. _

_Tout seulement, la fleur tâche de vivre sur une pièce rapportée nue de terre, dépouillée d'elle est des aliments par les forces artificielles. _

_La fleur vit pour l'unique mais lui-même, voulant montrer qu'il est assez fort pour surmonter de telles difficultés. _

_Cependant, tout qui vit, meurt, et le désir de vivre parfois n'est pas assez. _

_La seule fleur se défraîchit loin sous la lumière froide, manquant de l'eau et de la chaleur de l'amour.__"_

Above the chuunin, high in the crown of the forest, the eavesdropper sat with his eyes closed, trying to make sense of the artfully crafted language. The melancholy tune that floated up to his appreciative ears caused an ache to grow in his heart, until he thought his chest would burst with the inexplicable feelings he was suddenly experiencing. Breathing heavily, the dark figure doubled over with pain, forgetting that he was trying to remain unseen.

A quiet rustling noise in the trees startled Iruka out of his reverie, and he ceased his music, becoming alert and suspicious. A flash of silver caught his eye, but before he could move, it had disappeared, and with a small puff of air Kakashi materialized on the bank a few feet away.

One hand raised to scratch the back of his head sheepishly, while the other tossed a casual wave to the mortified man still standing shoulder-deep in the water. _At least I'm still in the deeper area,_ Iruka thought with a small sense of relief, but steadily growing angry at the thought of being listened to without his consent.

"Maa... Sorry for frightening you, Iruka-sensei, I was just on my way back to camp to let you know that it's your turn to keep watch."

Iruka seethed silently while that infuriating eye remained happily curved. He was red with humiliation at being caught so off guard, and even more embarrassing, Kakashi had just witnessed Iruka's very soul being bared and he was acting so blase about the whole thing!

"Thank you, Kakashi-sensei, I apologize for not relieving you of your post when expected. You must be tired," he grit out, keeping his composure by some amazing feat of will.

"Well, I'll leave it to you, then," Kakashi turned away from the academy teacher, heading towards the camp where Murasaki and Kuma slept, unaware of the situation that was barely kept from being a disaster. Kakashi paused for a moment, facing the chuunin once more.

"Oh, and Iruka-sensei?" There was a strange hitch to his voice, almost as if he was trying to keep from laughing, or possibly even crying.

"Yes, Kakashi-sensei?" Iruka stopped his movement to the shore, looking at the jounin inquisitively.

"I probably shouldn't say this, but-" Kakashi hesitated, and Iruka's already elevated heart rate sped up even more. _What's going on? Is he going to comment on my singing? I can't tell from the low light, but I think he may be blushing slightly._

The jounin's mouth curved into a lecherous grin, visible even under the mask.

"It would appear thatyour passion for music is a bit too extreme to be considered healthy." Without further explanation, the tall, silver-headed figure formed a few hand seals, and with a pop, disappeared. Iruka stood confused for a moment; damn Kakashi for always speaking in riddles instead of being straight-forward. Then, feeling the water sway about his thighs, Iruka had a flash of understanding, and looked down at his exposed nether-regions. _Shit!_

He immediately ducked lower into the water to cover himself with a splash, knowing full well that it was too late. Face burning with complete mortification, he stalked to the shore and hurriedly, and quite roughly, attired himself in still-drying clothes while still fuming. At least he would have time to calm down during his watch._ I should really start paying attention to tides..._

_------------_

Chapter with the fake French is over...


	3. Confidant

1Confidant

Chapter 3

Hours after the mortifying incident, the intense anger had subsided into the faint burn of embarrassment that revealed itself still in the color in Iruka's face. The young ninja sat comfortably in a high oak, resting his back against the tough bark and trying to pay attention to the area surrounding his tree. However, during the nearly three hours he had been on lookout, Iruka had yet to witness anything out of the ordinary- other than the two insomniac squirrels that were playing a game of chase around and on the conifer adjacent to the old oak, blissfully unaware of the tan man who had watching them for the past forty-five minutes, amused by their innocence and frolicking nature.

The small brown creatures eventually tired of their game, swishing bushy tails behind them as the crawled into a small hollow in the tree. Iruka sighed, glancing over his left shoulder to see if there was anything entertaining happening at the small camp. He could see two dark green sleeping bags set up near the dwindling fire. Light purple hair streamed out of the smaller bag, a small lump indicating Murasaki's resting place. Kuma's bed was farther away from the fire, and the large youth seemed too big for the standard bag, as he sprawled on his back half in and half out of the unzipped flannel. His arms were tossed carelessly about him, one over his head and the other tucked uncomfortably beneath his wide body. In the bright moonlight and soft firelight, Iruka could see his face, young and boyish in sleep. Casting about casually, the chuunin noticed that Kakashi was nowhere to be seen. He leaned over the thick branch, glancing around suspiciously. Iruka spotted the lean body curled around the unrolled sleeping bag, long arms and lanky legs wrapped around it. Kakashi was sleeping as far away as he could while still being at the small camp. He had hidden himself in a green bush for privacy. _I hope it's poison ivy,_ Iruka thought bitterly.

Triggered by the sight of the silver haired man, memories of evening's episode began to creep

through his mind. Iruka turned in his tree and leaned against the branch once more. _We're both men, he knows how that kind of thing is. I certainly couldn't help it, the waves in the water... _Iruka groaned and shook his head in frustration. _If it had been anyone else it wouldn't be so bad, but Kakashi is just such a... well, a pervert. He probably thought I was sneaking off to-_ Iruka groaned louder and smacked his head.

Suddenly, Iruka froze, thoughts of humiliation gone in an instant. There was an odd noise, so quiet it was almost undetectable, near camp. Straining his ears, Iruka crouched on the branch, ready to attack if the situation warranted it. A small whimper reached his ears, surprising the teacher. It hadn't sounded like an animal, more like a human in pain. He peered into the camp, but the new chuunin were sleeping peacefully. He heard it again, a despondent keening, that sounded slightly muffled, as though whatever was making the noise had something covering it's mouth. Thinking that there could be someone in trouble nearby, he decided that he should probably alert the team leader, and leaped as quietly as he could down through the tree, descending quickly and landing with a soft thump on the dirt and fallen leaves. Iruka moved stealthily towards the sleeping jounin. He approached the man, eyeing him warily, then stopped, shocked. The sounds were coming from Kakashi.

Iruka stood a few feet away as more whimpers escaped the nin laying on the hard ground. Kakashi was still wrapped around his sleeping bag, his masked face partially buried in the worn fabric, but now it seemed that the jounin was hugging the bag, using it as a life preserver to prevent him from drowning in his sleep. Iruka moved cautiously to stand before Kakashi, and saw that the exposed portion of his face- his right eye and a bit of forehead- was wet with unconscious tears. The child-loving teacher part in Iruka broke down.

Another low, despairing moan emitted from the huddled mass at Iruka's feet, wrenching his heart, and the chuunin bent down instinctively, wishing to rouse the jounin from his nightmare.

Had he realized his mistake a hundredth of a second later, the sensei would be lying face down among the leaves, most likely in more pieces than he was meant to be. Highly tuned reflexes had transformed the sleeping man into an automatic killer, and Iruka was lucky that he was accustomed to unexpected movements from years of teaching miniature ninja. As the pale hand lashed out, kunai attached, Iruka bounced backwards, just barely out of the way, feeling his vest catch slightly on the weapon and tear.

The chuunin stood a yard away from Kakashi, listening to the ragged breaths slow, as the silver-haired ninja remained completely still in a low attack position. Then, Kakashi peered with a flashing eye at Iruka, whose heart was still pounding from his brush with death caused by his own carelessness. Kakashi had finally managed to pull himself together, looking just as hip and casual as always and straightened up, beginning to speak as he stood, voice betraying his apparent non-concern at nearly decapitating his comrade.

"What the hell do you think you were doing," he demanded, voice shaking nearly undetectably, all traces of sleepiness gone.

Iruka swallowed harshly; why hadn't he just ignored the nightmare? Looking into Kakashi's furious grey eye, and knowing that the older man was probably suffering more from the shame of being caught in such a vulnerable position than anything else- that and trying to kill him- Iruka softened a bit.

"I'm sorry for startling you, but I only wanted to help and wake you. I think you were having a nightmare, and I forgot about the whole... ninja reaction... thing." Iruka finished lamely, gesturing with his hands.

Kakashi seemed to be relaxing finally, still on guard, but no longer anticipating a fight. Breaking eye contact swiftly and running his hands through his thick white hair, the tall man muttered an unintelligible excuse and turned, moving silently towards the direction of the river. Iruka felt a small flare of irritation rise in his chest. It wasn't that he expected an apology, maybe just some confirmation that the older ninja was going to be alright now and Iruka could head back to his post.

As Iruka watched the retreating back, he saw in his mind Kakashi's face at the exact moment he had awoken and lunged autonomically towards him. That solitary iris had been alight with terror and desperation, as though the jounin had just experienced a horror so profoundly appalling that he would never feel joy again.

His vexation fading at the memory, the chuunin felt a tug of worry and grudgingly followed the silver gleam, catching up to Kakashi just before the team leader sat down at the river bank, drawing his long legs close to his chest and wrapping his arms around his knees while he stared blankly at the water. Iruka was surprised at the way Kakashi was acting; he had expected the older man to make a joke out of it and laugh at Iruka for being concerned. Iruka crouched down near the prone figure cautiously, but when he found no reaction from Kakashi, he settled in comfortably, stretching his dark, cloth-covered legs before him and leaning back on his hands.

They were sitting quietly like that for a few long minutes, Kakashi gazing unseeingly across the river and Iruka observing the vast sky, and when Kakashi spoke to his teammate, Iruka jumped slightly.

"I- I'm sorry for listening to you sing earlier," Kakashi said quietly, his voice retaining the hollow quality from their prior encounter. Iruka glanced at him, bemused, wondering foolishly for a second if Kakashi had hated his voice enough to have a nightmare about it, before reassuring his companion that it was nothing to worry about.

"I was upset," he said slowly, "but it's not really your fault. You don't have to apologize for it. I haven't sung for anyone else since my mo- well, for quite a while." Iruka finished hastily. He was thankful that Kakashi had apparently chosen to forget about what had occurred after, but didn't feel like sharing the origins of the song. Not yet, anyway. "I hope that I didn't sound too bad," Iruka continued, trying to turn the conversation a bit lighter, "my voice is out of practice..." He trailed off, remembering the intense lessons his mother had given him every day, and feeling guilty for not keeping his voice trained how she liked.

"No, it was quite nice," Kakashi reassured him, the normal glint returning to his steel eyes. Now Iruka was becoming suspicious. The dream must have really disturbed Kakashi for him to be acting so civil and not taking that blatant opening to make fun of Iruka. "Did someone teach you to sing? And where did you learn that song?" He asked, the stormy orb now regarding him eagerly. Iruka immediately regretted following after Kakashi.

"Uh, my mother taught me, to sing and that- that song," Iruka replied, clearing his throat uncomfortably. Kakashi was watching him intently now, noting Iruka's reluctance on the subject. The pale man had opened his mouth under his mask-probably to ask more unwanted questions- when Iruka interrupted, standing up unexpectedly.

"I should get back," he said, a little coldly, "I have about another hour left on watch. Go back to sleep for now; I'll come get you when it's your turn." Iruka performed a series of hand seals, and before Kakashi could get another syllable out, transported himself to his tree. He knew he shouldn't blame the jounin for his sudden bad mood, but it was hard not to. Kakashi was the one deliberately keeping the subject off himself and asking personal questions about Iruka's past, which he definitely couldn't care less about, unwilling to talk about the nightmare that had compromised the safety of the group. After all, who had been keeping watch while the two sat at the river bed, Iruka feeling obligated to be sure Kakashi was okay? No one, that's who.

Peering through the velvety darkness of the night, Iruka could just make out the blurred figure of Kakashi slinking back to his hidey-hole in the bushes. The fire had finally died in the center of the camp, and the entire forest was bathed in the silvery glow of the moon. Iruka watched the light play on Murasaki's exposed purple hair, catching highlights and dancing on the silken strands. He kept his senses open and aware, but the forest was completely still in the late night, and Iruka was bored within minutes, and the painful memories that had emerged during the conversation earlier become harder to suppress. The hour dragged by painfully slow, as slow as a spider with one leg, and Iruka was sure the deity of time was playing with him. Eventually, though, the small timer at his waist rang out softly and Iruka breathed a sigh of relief.

The chuunin was wary of closing the distance between his person and Kakashi once more, but when he arrived at the bushes in which Kakashi was resting, he found the jounin sitting cross-legged, meditating.

"Hey, Kakashi-sensei, I'm sorry to interrupt but it's your turn to keep watch." Iruka waited only until Kakashi opened his eye and nodded his acknowledgment before quickly retreating to the area where Murasaki and Kuma lay in unwitting slumber. All he wanted to do right now was go to sleep.

- - - - - - - - - -

Aa. Shoot. I might not finish this...

11/27/2007 but I'm gonna try.


End file.
